The Art of Watching Closely: Learning the Business by Observing the People Who Do It Well

I’ve been that person in the room. The one questioning everything while others made it look effortless.

Their staff were polished. Their reports were clean. They quoted RevPAR and GOP like it was their first language. They walked in with confidence while I was still scribbling notes, trying to figure out what I missed in yesterday’s numbers.

And for a long time, my inner voice whispered, why not me?
That question gets heavy. It plants doubt, and doubt slows you down.

But here’s the thing. Once I replaced “Why not me?” with “How are they doing it?” everything changed.

That shift is where the real progress begins. That’s the magic.

Let’s be honest. In hotel operations, you’re either growing or you’re drowning. There’s rarely a comfortable middle. The job moves fast. The expectations are endless. And just when you think you’ve got your team settled, someone quits, the boiler breaks, and corporate wants new photos by tomorrow.

Watching someone else handle it all with grace can feel defeating. But it doesn’t have to.

It’s not about titles or tenure. I’ve seen a Director of Rooms who couldn’t manage a breakfast shift. I’ve also seen a Housekeeping Supervisor who ran circles around senior leadership when it came to managing people. It’s not about the name tag. It’s about the craft.

Here’s what I started doing that helped me grow:

• I studied behavior, not titles.
I watched how great leaders entered a room. How they paused before responding to a tough question. How they gave credit without losing authority. It wasn’t magic. It was practice. Built from experience, yes, but also from awareness and intention.

• I asked better questions.
Instead of asking, “What are your occupancy goals?” I asked, “How are you shifting rate strategies during shoulder seasons?”
Instead of, “What’s your secret to good scores?” I asked, “What’s the first thing you do after a guest complains?”

• I got comfortable copying people.
Let’s stop pretending we all have to be original. I borrowed phrases I liked. I tested how others ran morning huddles. I tried new ways of presenting SOPs. Then I made the approach my own.

• I stopped romanticizing the hustle.
Success in hospitality isn’t about being the last one in the office or saying yes to everything. It’s about focus, clarity, and knowing where your energy matters. I paid attention to what strong leaders didn’t waste time on. Then I adjusted.

Why Comparison Isn’t the Enemy
Comparison isn’t the issue. The real problem is where we aim it.

If you’re comparing titles and paychecks, you’re focusing on the surface. But if you’re looking at how someone earns trust, navigates conflict, or inspires their team to show up early without being asked, now you’re studying something useful.

Yes, I’ve been that person in the room who didn’t feel like I belonged.
But I didn’t stay there. I watched. I asked. I learned. I grew.

And if you’re in that same place now, don’t worry. You’re not behind.
You’re just learning to aim better.