Are You Choosing the Right People to Lead… or Accidentally Setting Them Up to Fail?

I’ve seen so many managers get promoted because they were great at checking boxes, not because they were great with people. Not great at coaching. Not great at communicating. Just great at the task. And then we act surprised when the wheels start coming off.

Leadership is not a reward for being the best doer.
It is a responsibility.
A big one.
And let’s be honest, sometimes we hand that responsibility to someone simply because we are short-staffed, desperate, or crossing our fingers that they will magically figure it out.

Spoiler alert: they usually don’t.
Not because they are incapable, but because no one actually showed them what leadership looks like in real time.

And if we are being brutally honest, most leadership problems do not start with the people we promote.
They start with us.
People copy what they see.
If we rush through expectations, they rush through theirs.
If we coach inconsistently, they coach inconsistently.
If we let stress make our decisions, so do they.

Before we blame someone for not leading well, we need to ask the uncomfortable question:

Have we modeled the leadership we want them to learn?

Teams do not need perfect leaders.
They need clarity.
They need guidance.
They need to feel safe enough to ask questions without worrying they will look clueless.
They need support that does not vanish the moment things get busy, which is exactly when support matters most.

I will never forget a new supervisor who pulled me aside one day. She was overwhelmed, frustrated, and convinced she was failing. When I asked what she needed, she said:

“I just want someone to show me what good leadership looks like.”

That hit me like a brick.
She did not need a checklist.
She did not need some fancy leadership system.
She needed an example, someone calm in chaos, someone who knew how to talk to staff, give feedback, and make decisions without setting everything on fire.

We cannot expect people to lead with confidence when all they have seen is confusion.
We cannot expect people to inspire if all they have witnessed is frustration.
We cannot expect people to take ownership when they are terrified of being wrong.

Leadership is learned behavior.
And whether we like it or not, our teams are learning from us every single day.

So here is the real question:

Are we giving our people what they need to succeed?
Do they have clarity?
Do they receive consistent coaching?
Do they feel safe enough to speak up?
Do they feel supported or just supervised?

We talk a lot about choosing the right people to lead.
But maybe the better question is this:

Are we giving them the right leader to follow?

#LeadByExample #BuildBetterLeaders #ClarityCoachingSupport